As everyone on the face of the Earth should be aware, the most powerful being ever to inhabit this planet died yesterday. At 2 1/2 years old, Paul the Octopus, psychic predictor of World Cup matches, died yesterday from natural causes. Paul, who correctly predicted the victor in every German World Cup match, as well as Spain's victory over the Netherlands in the World Cup Final, will be remembered for his contributions to both World Cup oddsmakers and the struggle for Octopuses' rights*.

*I'm kidding about that last part. Everyone knows that animals do not have and should not have rights.