10. Purdue! I mean... Purdue.

Purdue is the Delaware of the Big Ten with out a doubt. Is there anything special about it? I don't think so. I am not really sure. Their last two coaches had mustaches? Its Purdue.

9. Robert Marve is the Carl Tabb of Purdue football
What is this guy? a 7th year Senior? I swear Carl Tabb played for Michigan for like 8 years. I think Robert Marve has done the same for Miami and Purdue. He played during the Bush administration... The BUSH ADMINISTRATION. I do feel bad for the kid as he has battled injuries and has stuck with it but damn.. by the time he leaves Purdue he will be able to cash out his 401K.

8.Logo? 

Make up your minds! Is your logo a "P"? a "choo choo train"? or a dude who build rail roads(please dude Asian American)? I think they just rotate every year. How many schools have three logos? Its an identity crisis.

7.Ross Ade Stadium
There isn't a whole lot to say. The place sucks. When you have clip art on your score boards you know you are outdated. The field has been terrible when Michigan has ever played there. Turf seems loose...

6.I hate you for exposing Terrelle Pryor 

Michigan could never do it. But it seems like every time I turned around... Little old Purdue was exposing Pryor. Why couldn't we beat Pryor and OSU? Because I am convinced that Greg used our practice time teaching the team to play pick up sticks with their butt cheeks.

5. The 2012 Purdue basketball team
You guys smashed our senior night. Zack Novak and Stu deserved better. Could you not just roll over one night? What was your deal Hummel? Just because you and Robert Marve collect Medicaid doesn't mean you have to spoil our Senior night. It was the start of the frustrating end to the 2012 basketball team.

4.Pariya Junhasavasdikul

I have no hate towards this Purdue golfer other then that he golfed at Purdue.

3.Garret Bushong

I played this meat head in a heated rivalry back in High School. I hated you then and I hate you now.We used to call him blinks since he blinked like 1000 times in a minute.

 Back in 2006 you found a way for people to notice you by attacking the student paper.

This letter is a shoutout to all of the athletes of Purdue. I am personally sick and tired of all the bad ink we are getting, and it is really time to put an end to it. Yeah, I got an OWI, so what! It's over, and everyone now knows about it. It's not like 300 other students on this campus haven't gotten one, yet the names of those people are not put on the front page of the Exponent followed up three months later by a headline on the back page of the Sports section. I know all those people putting the paper together don't have anything better to write about, and I am not mad at them for that. I am mad because they continously are publishing articles that make us look so bad. If I am not mistaken, you guys go to Purdue too and I thought you would have a little more respect for your fellow classmates and the people who bring millions of dollars into this university year after year. So to all of my basketball players, football players, soccer girls, softball girls, wrestlers, cross country, track and field guys and girls, divers, golfers, tennis girls and guys, volleyball girls and baseball players, forget what ya heard. We're here to stay, we all know what we do for this school and what we give back. We run this place and if anyone begs to differ, I'll say what my good buddy Brandon Kirsch once said. "You know where to find me, locker number three, so come and say what you need to say to my face." Lastly I would like to give another shoutout to the athletes who have gotten bad ink in the Exponent lately. I feel for ya!

Represent in 2006.

Garret Bushong

You caught 3 passes at a Frosh... After this stunt? Zero. Way to go. He left the team after his Jr year and was never heard from again... Garret You Don't Run Shit.

2.Gene Keady's Comb Over

I hate it... but I love it too. He has made my day during college basketball when I see the comb over in all it beauty on BTN. He refuses to give it up and just cut it off. Let it go Gene. Its over. Let it be free. If you keep slicking it with grease.. It will die. Let those 102 strands of hair go so future generations won't see you and copy that horrible comb over.

1.Danny Hope

This dick thought it would awesome to bring over LG Zach Reckman for a awkward hand shake with Rich Rod. To even plan that out in advance makes you a grade A D-bag. Not to mention Rich had nothing to do with the act of your guard who got him self suspended for being dirty. Way to send a message to the player that his actions have consequences.I bet there is no way in hell you pull that stunt if you lose. Danny Hope.. I Hope your Mustache falls off.

Sometimes ten is hard to come up with. This time around... Ten wasn't enough. Even though I kept it at ten I could have gone 25+ easy.

10.The Movie 300

Thank god Hollywood came up with a crappy movie for Spartan fans to make their own. Its fitting since the movie is way over the top and so are most Spartan fans. I can't get enough of the dumb "Spartans what is your profession? chant during MSU games. It isn't tacky or annoying at all. What would you boobs do with out some terrible movie to make you feel better about yours selves?

9.Charles Rogers
Thanks for setting the Lions back 6 years. He was hyped as the next Randy Moss by many Spartan fans and NFL "gurus". He was anything but. He played in only 14 games before letting injuries and drugs take over. You know he was high 90% of the time at MSU. I think Charles smoked so much dope he might be forever high which I am sure this loser is fine with. As I type this out Charles and Jeff "Smoker" are sitting around sniffing coke of a dead hookers ass in a motel room down on MLK boulevard.

8.Tom and Lupe Izzo
Great shirt Tom. No but really who likes The Izzos outside of the East Lansing? No one. The West Coast don't even know they exist(lucky). Tom just makes me grind my teeth. He is such a spaz on the sidelines. He can never keep it together. I am sure 95% of his team hates his guts(its been proven over the years). I came to hate Lupe during the final four in Detroit where CBS showed a 1000 shots of her and each time she looked "blah" or "lifeless". Like she was in outer space. If you think that isn't a good reason not to like someone then you don't know me. On the bright side, the football program is so sad that it is accepting loans... err I mean donations from the schools basketball coach.

7.Green
I just have always hated Green. I hate Green cars,green house,green cups,green shits,earth day shirts,green leaves,green day music and green panties. You name it, if its green I don't like it. This dosn't have as much to do with MSU as to the fact I just hate green. It doesn't help their cause though that they picked the ugliest color in the world. I mean when I barf.. Its Green more times then not. Sometimes when people poop... Its green. Why should that color rep any school is beyond me. Good job state in choosing a color that poop and barf uses 85% of the time.

6.The 2001 Clock Operator
 How hard can it be? The start button. The stop button. Leave it up to a homer MSU clock operator to cost the 2001 Michigan team a win. The clock clearly stops before Jeff 'coke head" Smoker spikes the ball. It was such a shame wow the Big Ten did this.

The Big Ten changed its timekeeping policy for the 2002 season, having previously studied changing the policy prior to the Michigan State-Michigan game.^[4] Previously, the home team appointed an individual of their choosing to keep the official time in the pressbox.^[17] Now, time is kept on the field by a neutral official appointed by the Big Ten.

Michigan fans will always remember this one as I know it burns down in my loins. At least Denard went back in time and made this right.

5.Nike Pro Combat Jerseys
I really like a lot of them. Hell I want Nike back. I have made it no secret that I think Adidas needs to stick to basketball and soccer. Some how Michigan State got some of the worst Pro Combats I have ever seen. Its so bad it jumped Spartan Bobs Clock Gate scandal in 2001. Yes I get it. You guys used to use "bronze". There is a reason that you "used" to. Its freaking ugly. So now what we have here is Tommy the Green Power Ranger running around on a football field. Hell we got 11 of them. I have even saw a MSU fan list in his reason why they win... 1.Better defense 2.Pro combat jerseys.. Ahh ok. You guys will wanna burn them if Michigan wins this game. I really can't wait to see the MSU players put their gloves together a 100 times after a remotely positive play. Won't get old at all.

4.Spartan Stadium 
I went to the 2009 Michigan vs Michigan State game. I wasn't expecting a lot but what I got was a fucking shit hole. It looked like a refugee camp outside the Stadium. Trash was everywhere. All over. That is what stuck out the most. The Trash.  I won't even get into the drunk asshole that followed me from my car to the stadium giving me shit for being a Michigan fan. I have no idea how MSU fans can keep a straight face when they take shots at the Big House. Once we got inside it wasn't much better. Ads all over the place. A video board from 1988 at one end of the stadium so replays are not happening. I didn't mind my seat but getting down from the upper deck was like a hard turd leaving Tony Mandarich's asshole. It took forever. Lets hope there is never a emergency because no one is getting out alive. You would have a better chance surviving the Titanic. Its no wonder they can't sell out their games vs opponents not named "Michigan".

3.Mark Dantonio
Hey I gotta hand it to Mark. He has turned this turd into a something worth watching. Someone finally came along and did it and hasn't jumped ship for a better job. Gotta give credit there.You did your job beating some of the worst Michigan teams in history. You handled the game. That is where the praise stops. You are asshole. Point blank. I can't believe anyone would want to play for you. You have the personality of Hank Hill. I think this years recruiting class proves it since MSU is no longer "owning the state" since Hoke came in swooped up most of the talent in his first six months. Its hard to take a liking to a dude who roots for OSU even though it would hurt his team in the standings. How MSU fans rationalize that is beyond me.

2.Red Cedar Message Board
The RCMB is easily the worst college sports board on the world wide web. They are obsessed over Michigan year around. If anyone says anything remotely adjective about Michigan they are eaten alive. To this board Michigan is the heart of evil. They even have neat little nick names for everything since they are so clever. Some off the top of my head: DickRod(OMG so funny!) scUM, Duhnard, Velcro, Taint Forcier, umaa. They are pretty funny..... They are also some of the most prisoner of the moment idiots I have ever seen. A whole Michigan vs ND(I don't MGB holds MSU game threads.. Oh we don't care) thread consisted of "These teams are like two terrible high schools teams!" "we will crush ND" "Michigan's defense is even worse!". They do this for a 3 hour game in which they hate both teams. That takes commitment. I read now and then for entertainment purposes. The whole board is like a car wreak. I can't look away at times. If Michigan pulls of a win in Lansing this weekend head over to RCMB for the melt down.

1.The MSU fans
You people are are unbearable. Your jealousy for Michigan has drove most the fan base insane. Since MSU has beaten Michigan for the last 3 years it has caused the fan base to act even more idiotic due to having little success before for that. You can't stand it that the media talks about Michigan. You hate the Big House(even though you guys play in a pure outdated shit hole). I have even ran into fans who count on injury to Denard as a part of the game plan. I have ran into very few rational MSU fans. Must live just for the sole purpose to hate Michigan. They hate Michigan more then they love their team which is sad. You are a PATHETIC group that loves to call any Michigan fan who didn't attend Michigan a "wal-mart wolverine". Did I go to Michigan? NO I went to WMU. I grew a Michigan fan my whole life. I had Michigan season tickets as a student at WMU(I think I only attended like three WMU games). How am I any less of a fan cause I didn't attend the school? Do you think 75,000(lol 75k) alums fill Spartan Stadium every Saturday? Of course not you fucking morons. Most the MSU fans I talk to didn't even go to the school either. Do I make fun of them for that? Of course not. You just can't stand that Michigan has a giant fan base. Keep going on being obsessive pricks. We get a kick out of it. We like having the obsessed creep looking in our window year around. Its good for a laugh. You people...make me sick!

9.Notre Dame Stadium 

A highlight from last weeks USF vs ND game

I remember a short time ago when the Big House was outdated but now is a thing of beauty. At least the Big House had some sort of stats and video for replays before all the updates. Going to a game at Notre Dame Stadium is like going back in time to 1955 in Docs DeLorean. I think all the fans drive there wind up old model Ts to the Stadium every Saturday to tail gate. Don't even get me going on the turf and the mess that it is. Seems like every game I watch the turf is a giant mess. Grass flying everywhere. The score board is a thing of 1975 with giant bulbs for score. No replays or stats. I will give it this. It does have cool clip art(like hands clapping) that displays a long the bottom. That is pretty 1992. So if you wanna go back in time then check a game out at Notre Dame Stadium... Bring your top hat.

8.Notre Dame Weather

Ehh..2008

I swear to god when I click over to NBC to watch ND the weather is always awful. Its like South Bend has rain monsoons every Saturday. If Michigan has a secondary hating god then Nortre Dame has a shitty weather god. I think they give a rain poncho with every season ticket purchase.
7.The Irish Ginger Dancing Mascot guy... thing.
Every year I have to look at some new pimpled face kid jumping around on the side line. I would love to see this try out. Like a line of 19 year old gingers all lined up doing their best "who stole my lucky charms?" impression. It may get higher ratings then American Idol.

6.The Fan Base(besides the user Irish)
I have met a lot of you and anytime ND loses.. Its the Big Ten officials fault. Our coach sucks. We had dudes hurt. Blah Blah Blah. Armando Allen didn't step out of bounds... Oh yeah? I was there! Remember?

1.Brian Kelly
Hey I like tough coaches as much as the other but I would be embarrassed if I were a fan and the University. The dude is straight up belittling the player. How is this a teaching moment? I got a hold of a mouth reader and this what got out the clip.
KELLY: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?
KELLY: YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE! WHEN I GET YOU IN PRACTICE I WILL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!
KELLY: I WILL PUNCH YOU RIGHT IN THE FACE! I DON'T CARE! YOU ARE DEAD TO ME! I WILL KICK YOUR DOG ON SUNDAY! DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME PENIS BREATH!?
It was something like that. I mean come on. Like I said I know football is all about screaming but this is drunkin sailor yelling. I never liked you at GVSU and I don't like you now. I do think he can make it at ND but he has to be careful. The same kinds that hated on RR at Michigan will be doing the same at ND in no time if they haven't already. We saw what negativity can do to a program. It isn't pretty.

This one is personal since I went to WMU. It will be filled with a ton of "Cool Story bro" moments.. So it may get nasty brother...

10. I hate Greg Jennings and he owns flag football.

While at WMU Greg Jennings thought it would be a good idea to join some kids flag football team. He owned every team. It wasn't even fair. Thank god I played DE. He would just blow by people and some random QB would just throw it as far he could... TD. Yeah made it really fun. They knocked us out in the first round of the playoffs. Why on earth did Lloyd Carr pull his offer after he committed to Michigan? If  Carr wouldn't have pulled it I may be a WMU flag football champion today.

9. Wheres Waldo Stadium? 

I will admit that I didn't spend a ton of Saturdays at Waldo since my XGF got me UM student tickets. I did catch a few games and lets just say...ZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz. Wooo hoo Mac football. I could get a better sleep in the stands then in my bed since it was so quite and boring. No one would even watch the game after tailgating. It was like alright.. we are drunk? Yes. Now what? Wanna go watch Michigan at Oregon? Yeah lets go(proceed to stumble home). Also whats with the name? Waldo? I expected to see that striped traveling virgin from those awesome books as a kid standing on the sideline with a headset on. I will say having a Demons restaurant at the field was pretty awesome. That was about it.

8.Team Colors..Barf

I hated WMU colors. Just ugly. The old school colors and the new ones sucked hard core. Walking around the campus was like walking on a giant dirty penny from 1986. Everything is copper and black. No wonder I was depressed while I attended.

7.Tim Allen's "Grunting Sounds"

Tim Allen went to WMU. I hated Home Improvement as a kid. I hate it now. His animal sounds for cheap laughs are beyond lame. I think I hate that sounds more then Tim Allen. He did give us the Santa Clause. I heard he did a lot of coke while at WMU... Just a random rumor.

6. The Bars suck in Kzoo

YES! Generic bar photo! Good Times!

Not sure why but I found one bar I liked out of like 20. The Irish pub I would go to 4-5 times a week was great but outside of that the rest were garbage. One bar(name escapes me) with two floors was the worst. They took my roommates ID and wouldn't give it back claiming it was fake. We argued for a bit. We had to call the cops to get his ID back. The cop made the bouncer feel like an idiot. I know.. I know.. Cool story bro.

5.The Bitch at Alpha Pi Whatever
I lived right off from fraternity road and there was this rich girls fraternity where most of them drove Lexus and BMW sorts. It was a huge fraternity. One day my car was broken into while parked on their road. I asked the girl who was sitting outside the fraternity if she saw anything. She wouldn't respond. I asked again. She said "I didn't say anything. What does that mean?" I was sorta surprised. So I asked if I could borrow her cell really quick to call the cops. She said no.... Go to hell you stuck up bitch.

4.The Dude who stole my bike
I had a lovely green bike. It was sweet. It was a Diamondback and even had awesome pegs. It got me to school every day. I chained it up every night outside my house. One morning I come to find my bike stolen and a chain laying on the ground in pieces. So I had to take the bus and walk after that. A few weeks later I saw a dude driving a bike that looked like mine but spray painted lime green. If I had a any balls I would have done something about it but I was a young coward. Miss that damn bike.. Now I have a "Next" bike from Walmart.. Its a piece..

3.The Dude who broke into my car and stole all my shit!

I didn't have the best luck in Kzoo. I had a Saturn that I made a fake parking pass for. Well after months of getting away with it the towing company figured it out and towed me($75). That forced me to park on fraternity lane. One late afternoon I come to the car and the window was busted out($125) and my Cd player($11),Sub($85) and amp($80) were gone. The assholes busted my Viper cop detector($75) on the side walk for the hell of it. My insurance covered zero($0) of it. I drove around with out a window for a few days in the winter. It was awesome.... Screw you thief! I hope you are behind bars somewhere but odds are you are on welfare and you are still stealing the money from me that comes out of my check!! ARHHHHHHHH!

2.Kalamazoo 
I hate the city with all my being. It is a cesspool of thugs, thieves, students and scumbags. Their is like four different colleges so it is a mad house at all hours. I had to walk home through a riot once.. No really a real riot broke out. Everything looks run down and old. Everyone treats everyone like shit. A ton of one way streets. People get murdered on a monthly basis in the student getto. The snow that was there is crazy since its close to Lake Michigan. My neighbors did nothing but smoke weed in their car all day. I think I am done ranting and raving but I do hate the city. Its garbage.

1. The 2009 WMU football Team

This team caused me anxiety a good 3 months leading up to the game vs Michigan. They have a NFL caliber QB, they have a ton of seniors and even ESPN types were picking that as a upset to watch since we sucked the year before. I worried and worried... Are we gonna finally lose to a Mac team? No we won! We saved that Mac lose for a far worse mac opponent... Toledo. Anyway Michigan blasted those Horses thanks to some Tate and Denard magic. It turns out the 2009 WMU football team wasn't that great and got me all worried for no reason. F you guys for that.

I did a few of these for some opponents last year and I figure why not vent what I didn't care about during the Richie Era. I will say I was fan of the "idea". The idea that Michigan would be this fast spread and shred team. That we wouldn't be so predictable and stale. I really thought Rich was the best man to do that. It wasn't meant to be and this blog moved on the day Rich was fired but lets revisit the things that chapped my ass.

10. 3rd and STUFFED!

I lost count on how many times RR would send in the smallest running back(V.Smith more then not) and throw him into a power I. The play would get stuffed 90% of the time. Why ask our line and RB to do something that isn't its strength on some of the most important plays? Might as well run Denard...again. He was running 80% of the time anyway. Why not 85% and get the first down? It was just dumb.

9. Lets Be Real

I felt like sometimes that Rich wasn't himself most the time. Like the pressure to impress or live up a image in Ann Arbor kept him from ever being this larger then life leader that we all wanted. He never came off as on the edge or super confident liked I expected right when we hired him. Most his interviews were canned responses all the time and he seem defeated with all the downs that came his way. After big loses he would just repeat the same things from the loss before. I just never felt like we got the real Rich Rod. I never expected him to go up to the mic and say "what fuck do you want me to get out of Steven Threet?" but I expected more.

8. Hey Idiot.. DUH!

I think the fundamentals and football IQ that the team showed since Rich Rod took over down right sucked at times. Tackling looked worse every year. Some how Obi peaked as a RS Frosh and got worse since RR showed up. Botched punt return after botched punt return. Fumbles galore... Oh and twice last year after blocked FGs the team failed to realize that the BALL IS STILL LIVE! The other team would scoop it up and run in the other direction as the Michigan players seem confused. A lot of this may have been due to some of the position coaches which brings us to number 7.

7. Coaching Follies 


Rich hired a "meh" DC from Stanford. He then fights with him every week and forces his will at Purdue as the team runs the 3-3-5 and is beaten on a hook and latter play. Rich fires the dude(who goes to Syracuse ironically and coach a pretty damn good defense) and hires a Orange Reject. Not many know how to take this hire but the dude does have killer silver fox hair. The defense takes a bigger nose dive as we switch our base defense every year. By 2010 the players are thinking so much on the field they forget they are playing football and it costs the team one win after another. A stuffed bear is used to motivate players and darkness falls on Michigan Stadium. Rich also refuses to fire coaches who are lacking. Many say they are his "buddies" and they keep their jobs even though the team is a joke at many defensive positions. Rich may have been screwed the day Casteel refused to follow him to Michigan.



6.MSU or EMU?

During the 3 games in which Michigan played MSU I couldn't tell if Michigan was playing a major rival. I could tell MSU was but Michigan just didn't bring any fire or passion to the MSU games like in the past. By the players body language I couldn't tell if they were playing MSU or EMU. They looked like they took it as just another game. I am not saying that is how the team took MSU but from this persons POV they lacked a lot of  heat and intensity in this game. Michigan was 0-3 in these games. I now live in a bizzarro world where Michigan State beats us in football and we beat them in Basketball.

5. Fine get the hell out of here! Who needs yea!

This maybe more to that bad luck thing but Rich didn't have much time for players who were drowning. Rumors would spread that a player maybe leaving the team and then bam! The next day they were gone. I don't know all that went down behind closed doors but it just seemed 2nd chances or helping players turn it around wasn't something that was going on. Guys like Shawn Crable would have been gone in flash under Rich. Justin Turner one of his highest rated recruits was gone before the start of his 2nd season. Did Justin suck at coming to camp ready? Yeah. Could he have been used? YES. But that may have been a good call since he now plays intramurals brother. RB Austin White didn't even make it to camp his Frosh year. Does anyone else think this kid could have used another chance? He didn't even get his dorm assignment for god sake. This was another reason why the roster numbers were so low.

4.The dude didn't even pass 8th grade 

Oh lets do it! Or lets not. As much as the fans wanted and welcomed Demor Dorsey he wasn't gonna get in. People slammed Michigan for not letting him in. Then word came of how bad his HS transcripts were. Every school wouldn't let him in. He didn't even get through HS. He ended up at some school for kids who can't handle HS. Why did Rich spend so much time recruiting a kid he had to know had no chance of getting into Michigan. I maybe missing some info that I missed where us and other schools were lead to believe that his grades were fine but if not then why waste so much time? The team had so many needs on that side of the ball. Now Demor is going to GRCC last time I checked and their credits do transfer to Michigan pretty easy. I have no idea what his motives are at GRCC but it may take a miracle if he ever ends up playing D1 ball someday.

3. Pssh! Red Shirts

You would have thought that Rich Rod thought red shirts were some mythical creatures who don't exist. He would burn players red shirts on special team plays, garbage time and refusing to play a certain pain in the ass QB ahead of Devin Gardner. There is no way Je'Ron Strokes should be a Junior right now. Devin Gardner should be a RS frosh. Will... The list goes on and on.  This is the stuff I figured out how to manage while playing NCAA Football 2002 back in High School.

2. Defense

Rich just didn't handle the defense with care. It treated it like it was there to get the offense ready in practice and not stop anyone. I think he really thought at times they he could just out score everyone which of course is unrealistic. Hiring and firing DCs and changing schemes every year was huge mistakes. The players didn't know their head from their ass. I think they still don't but Hoke and Co. are working on sorting that out.

Spinner, 3-3-5, 4-2-5, death backer and all these cool names didn't mean shit. We could even go into why in the world is Roh playing OLB? Why isn't Demens starting? Why is Cam Gordan a safety? Why does our DC pick his nose? Why can Wisconsin run the same play 20 times in a row and we can't stop it? Why do I feel bad for Brandon Graham? Why can Penn States Red headed Steven Threet beat us? Why are the Zookers scoring 65 points? Why can't we stop the UMASS Roll out? WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? The whole defense turned into a giant joke under Rich and it was really the main reason he was fired.


1.Luck

I didn't enjoy Riches Luck the most. Rich must have did something awful to someone above because the dude had one bad thing happen to him and the team one after another. It was was almost comical how bad news was just never ending. Like is this for real?

The Gods couldn't stand him being the coach at Michigan. They struck us with a corner back plague. Transfers left and right. They took our bowl streak and had a news paper start a witch hunt. It was Rich and his bad luck that has cursed Michigan for the last three years. I have no idea how Denard made it to Michigan without being struck my lighting or being contacted by god to join a monk church.

Like I said. I rooted for Rich and this isn't meant to just slam him(which it does). I could make a top 10 things I liked about the RR era as well. If anything it taught us how fast things change in college football and to never take for granted how good you might be and 9-3 or 10-2 isn't all that bad..

and we can now stop the "Well this is Michigan" shit. We can thank your bad luck to that Rich.