10 things I hate about Western Michigan University

This one is personal since I went to WMU. It will be filled with a ton of "Cool Story bro" moments.. So it may get nasty brother...

10. I hate Greg Jennings and he owns flag football.


While at WMU Greg Jennings thought it would be a good idea to join some kids flag football team. He owned every team. It wasn't even fair. Thank god I played DE. He would just blow by people and some random QB would just throw it as far he could... TD. Yeah made it really fun. They knocked us out in the first round of the playoffs. Why on earth did Lloyd Carr pull his offer after he committed to Michigan? If  Carr wouldn't have pulled it I may be a WMU flag football champion today.

9. Wheres Waldo Stadium? 

I will admit that I didn't spend a ton of Saturdays at Waldo since my XGF got me UM student tickets. I did catch a few games and lets just say...ZZZzzzzZZZZZZZzzzzz. Wooo hoo Mac football. I could get a better sleep in the stands then in my bed since it was so quite and boring. No one would even watch the game after tailgating. It was like alright.. we are drunk? Yes. Now what? Wanna go watch Michigan at Oregon? Yeah lets go(proceed to stumble home). Also whats with the name? Waldo? I expected to see that striped traveling virgin from those awesome books as a kid standing on the sideline with a headset on. I will say having a Demons restaurant at the field was pretty awesome. That was about it.

8.Team Colors..Barf

I hated WMU colors. Just ugly. The old school colors and the new ones sucked hard core. Walking around the campus was like walking on a giant dirty penny from 1986. Everything is copper and black. No wonder I was depressed while I attended.

7.Tim Allen's "Grunting Sounds"

Tim Allen went to WMU. I hated Home Improvement as a kid. I hate it now. His animal sounds for cheap laughs are beyond lame. I think I hate that sounds more then Tim Allen. He did give us the Santa Clause. I heard he did a lot of coke while at WMU... Just a random rumor.

6. The Bars suck in Kzoo
YES! Generic bar photo! Good Times!
Not sure why but I found one bar I liked out of like 20. The Irish pub I would go to 4-5 times a week was great but outside of that the rest were garbage. One bar(name escapes me) with two floors was the worst. They took my roommates ID and wouldn't give it back claiming it was fake. We argued for a bit. We had to call the cops to get his ID back. The cop made the bouncer feel like an idiot. I know.. I know.. Cool story bro.

5.The Bitch at Alpha Pi Whatever
I lived right off from fraternity road and there was this rich girls fraternity where most of them drove Lexus and BMW sorts. It was a huge fraternity. One day my car was broken into while parked on their road. I asked the girl who was sitting outside the fraternity if she saw anything. She wouldn't respond. I asked again. She said "I didn't say anything. What does that mean?" I was sorta surprised. So I asked if I could borrow her cell really quick to call the cops. She said no.... Go to hell you stuck up bitch.

4.The Dude who stole my bike
I had a lovely green bike. It was sweet. It was a Diamondback and even had awesome pegs. It got me to school every day. I chained it up every night outside my house. One morning I come to find my bike stolen and a chain laying on the ground in pieces. So I had to take the bus and walk after that. A few weeks later I saw a dude driving a bike that looked like mine but spray painted lime green. If I had a any balls I would have done something about it but I was a young coward. Miss that damn bike.. Now I have a "Next" bike from Walmart.. Its a piece..

3.The Dude who broke into my car and stole all my shit!

I didn't have the best luck in Kzoo. I had a Saturn that I made a fake parking pass for. Well after months of getting away with it the towing company figured it out and towed me($75). That forced me to park on fraternity lane. One late afternoon I come to the car and the window was busted out($125) and my Cd player($11),Sub($85) and amp($80) were gone. The assholes busted my Viper cop detector($75) on the side walk for the hell of it. My insurance covered zero($0) of it. I drove around with out a window for a few days in the winter. It was awesome.... Screw you thief! I hope you are behind bars somewhere but odds are you are on welfare and you are still stealing the money from me that comes out of my check!! ARHHHHHHHH!

2.Kalamazoo 
I hate the city with all my being. It is a cesspool of thugs, thieves, students and scumbags. Their is like four different colleges so it is a mad house at all hours. I had to walk home through a riot once.. No really a real riot broke out. Everything looks run down and old. Everyone treats everyone like shit. A ton of one way streets. People get murdered on a monthly basis in the student getto. The snow that was there is crazy since its close to Lake Michigan. My neighbors did nothing but smoke weed in their car all day. I think I am done ranting and raving but I do hate the city. Its garbage.

1. The 2009 WMU football Team

This team caused me anxiety a good 3 months leading up to the game vs Michigan. They have a NFL caliber QB, they have a ton of seniors and even ESPN types were picking that as a upset to watch since we sucked the year before. I worried and worried... Are we gonna finally lose to a Mac team? No we won! We saved that Mac lose for a far worse mac opponent... Toledo. Anyway Michigan blasted those Horses thanks to some Tate and Denard magic. It turns out the 2009 WMU football team wasn't that great and got me all worried for no reason. F you guys for that.

7 Response to "10 things I hate about Western Michigan University"

  1. 2 and 9 are stupid. 8 is at least less worse than it used to be, because the colors used to be brown and yellow (shit and piss). 5 is exactly right about the Alpha Phis. They wouldn't put out unless you whipped out your real time trust fund balance.

    5 is right also because the school tore down a couple bars for parking.

    But what do i know - I'm just a townie with a WMU degree who's also a Michigan fan

    Anonymous says:

    The Zoo is a shit hole. Someone broke into my friends house when I was staying there and stole my laptop. The cop that came to take my statement said it happens all the time, and no, I probably wouldn't ever see my laptop again. F**k that city.

    If you love uofm so much, why didn't you just go there instead of wmu?

    Hostpph says:

    haha I agree with you on many of those reasons, especially the Bars suck in Kzoo, I was there once and I wanted to go to a bar and meet some nice girls and I could not find a nice bar at all

    Zak Dwyer says:

    Western is balls. This whole place sucks. Whoever designed the parking is a full fledged retard. Roundabouts up the ass. Parking Services think that they're some kind of actual real cops. And then there's the "WMU cops" who think they're real cops, too. Got my car impounded for having an overdue license plate... alright I didn't have a license but still, bunch of douches.

    The place is filled with frat boyz who all look like they could be Fred Durst's brother, and the dumb bimbos who live only to show off their body to impress said frat boyz. Avoid this shithole at all costs on St. Patty's unless you want to see what it would be like if a bunch of 4 year degreers went full on community college.

    The only thing that's good about this place is Westnedge Ave, because they have a Guitar Center and a Barnes & Noble, but I'm from Jackson and I'm used to feeling lucky if there's a local McDonalds nearby. There's nothing to do here but eat. Probably why I'm so fat.

    Eh, at least there's the batting cages, when it's not overrun by high school kids or moms and their toddlers playing putt putt.

    Anonymous says:

    Wow... this is probably the stupidest list with the stupidest reasons. You hate WMU because Tim Allen went there? I'm sure REAL U of M Alums hate you because you want to be like them.

    It's your own fault you had your car broken into. Of course if you park in a shady neighborhood there is a higher chance someone will break into your shitty car. If you would have just paid for a parking pass that wouldn't of happened...or at least the chances would decrease significantly.

    I thought the football team reason would be a good one, but it was stupid. Of course they don't have a great chance at beating Michigan: THEY ARE A BIG TEN TEAM. Maybe if you would have talked about their lack of defense that would have made sense because they definitely need some help there.

    All of the other reasons are illegitimate reasons as well. Who cares if there are girls from a sorority that don't like you. There are going to be girls from every college that don't like you. Whether you are at WMU of U of M there are going to be snobby girls.

    This list should be called why I am a Poser u of M fan who couldn't get accepted into to U of M. Maybe if you tried to make your school better instead of complaining about it it would be nicer. That's why WMU doesn't have as good of a name as U of M: there are guys like you who don't take pride in their school.

    GO BRONCOS!

    I think you took it this a little to serious... Can't fault you for the school pride that you show.

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