When Brian writes on incredibly depressing subject matter, he often references and/or uses the music of one Steven Patrick Morrissey. Considering how incredibly awful August was (and it's the offseason!), I feel that it too deserves a song. And as this month has been so very soul crushing, I feel that it deserves an especially depressing song. I mean after all, it really really sucked. Here's a quick recap:

Detroit Tigers

The Tigers didn't have a terrible month on paper. They recovered slightly from a terrible start to the second half and finished the month at 13-16. However, there are several things that happened to make it seem a lot worse. First of all, we went to extra innings three times and lost all of them. Secondly, Edwin Jackson, who we traded to Arizona during the offseason and was picked up by the White Sox in a deadline deal, pitched against us twice, giving up only two runs in 14 innings. Thirdly, we went 8-16 against teams that aren't having atrocious seasons like Cleveland and Kansas City are. Fourthly, we went 3-6 against the White Sox and Twins. And finally, we started and ended the month with a loss, the latter featuring the generally consistent Phil Coke blowing a 7th inning lead against the aforementioned Twins to cost us the game.

In comparison to what follows, the Tigers had a very tame month.

United States Men's National Soccer Team

Bob Bradley got a four year extension. As in, the guy who had Adam Findley start every game in the World Cup that he was eligible for despite Findley being clearly over-matched every game got a four year extension. Bradley is known for his masterful second-half adjustments, but that is due in a large part to his inability to use common sense in making a starting lineup in the first place. SCS recently released a post on how dumb this move was (especially when considering our other options) and it really doesn't need to be hashed over in full again for the sake of the sanity of everyone who cares about the USMNT.

Our Secondary

Troy Woolfolk is out for the season. May our hopes for a semi-decent secondary this year rest in peace.

The Game

Michigan and Ohio State are in separate divisions. The Game is still going to be played at the end of the season, but the stakes are will almost certainly be less than they would be if Michigan and Ohio State were in the same division. And the worst part is that Michigan, Ohio State, and the Big Ten did this for a chance at increased profit without listening to the wishes of the fans.

Troy Woolfolk's injury alone is worthy of a depressing song. With all the other crap that's happened this month, it deserves this:

CBOX

...is no longer with us.


Yes, I know this is going overboard. I just wanted an excuse to use this.