Forty-two

In honor of Douglas Adams, I have decided (for awhile, anyway) to do a weekly "grab-bag" post of questions and call it "42." Since, as HHG readers know, it is impossible for the ultimate answer and the ultimate question to exist in the same universe, it follows that no question or answer can be truly ultimate, so I'm just going to give opinions and have fun.

Where is LBJ going?

Contrary to the opinion of professional oddsmakers, I can't imagine LBJ subjecting himself to a career in a cesspool like the "mistake on the lake." And, as much as I would love to see LBJ become a Piston, it's not like Detroit has many redeeming qualities, either. Remember that he can choose between anyplace in the NBA.

My guess is that his buddy D-Wade takes him to a few parties on South Beach and sells him on the lifestyle there. Orlando may be a great "dark-horse" candidate, too. LBJ needs a great suppporting cast, and Florida has no state income tax. Oh, and did I mention that Florida has no state income tax? LBJ would save enough to pay a driver, a gofer, and three hangers on every year he had a primary residence in Florida. And he might even escape a lot of his homey hangers-on if he gets out of Ohio.

What is up with Tiger Woods?

It was a great move to part ways with Hank Haney. Haney's Hogan-esque teachings work wonders for many, but they are the opposite of what Tiger needs. Much like Michigan's woes on the football field of learning a new system, Woods' current swing requires him to think when he should be naturally reacting. He is restricting himself so much that his natural swing is pretty much gone.

Luckily, though, a person's natural swing is still their natural swing, and he can get back to it. I would like to see him subjugate his ego and go back to Butch Harmon, but I don't see him doing that. At any rate, though, he has to go to a slower tempo and less fast-twitch muscles if he wants to stay healthy enough to win those last few majors for the record.

Can Tiger learn to back off within his natural swing? That is a question for another time, but many old-timers teach an interesting method: hit the ball with your practice swing. That pretty much makes you look like Bobby Jones, Sam Snead, Ernie Els, Phil Mickelson, or Freddie Couples. They all got pretty good results.

The other thing Tiger obviously needs to do is divorce Elin and get on with his life. She tricked him into not only covering up her Thanksgiving attack, but public confessions of infidelity, thus ensuring that she will be the richest "model" in the world at the stroke of a pen. Tiger needs to sign off, settle for a half-billion or so, and start making money that he won't have to share with her.

Then, Tiger could have as many women as he wants and be a hero instead of a heel in the court of public opinion, especially in that all-important 25-54 male demographic. A savvy agent could get him a lot of great endorsements if he was creative enough. Maybe, somewhere down the road, we will even see a Tiger Woods condom. I can see it now: "You may not ever be chased by a Swedish model with a nine-iron, but you can have the same protection Tiger uses. Tiger-wraps, for the man who does everything."

What's up with "Spartina?"

Not the Spartans, but the word. Over at the "mothership," we saw possibly the second-biggest blogmaster negbang in the history of MGB, when Big Redacted was docked 100,000 points for using the word "Spartina." I guess the moral is that UM fans have too much class to use "terms of negative endearment" about opponents. So, I guess these are probably not recommended there, either:

MSUcks
OSUcks
scuMSUcker
cO**SUcker
Suckeyes
*uckeyes

I am guessing that if Nebraska joins the Big Ten, "Nebraska Cornholers" won't be welcome, either. In addition, references to Shittsburg, Slutgers, Pissouri, or the "Shite-ing Irish" will probably be discouraged.

Sometimes, it is really hard to stay classy, but I guess it is its own reward. Or something like that. And I'm happy to see that Big Redacted has been given back all of his points.

Has Shredder elevated his MS Paint game or what?

The uniforms are his best work yet. I wonder if he took Sparty criticism to heart. Apparently, some Spartan fans from mlive, pissed at my never-ending mission to not allow Spartan trolls to look like their opinions are a majority, visited here. They decided that it was I who was doing the paint jobs and not Shredder. Apparently, they don't teach reading or logic at MSU or they would have noticed what is done by "tater" and what is done by "shredder."

Anyway, thinking he was me, they raked him over the coals for his MS paint work. This proves that most Sparty trolls are doubly "intellectually challanged." Not only were they wrong about his work, but they couldn't even figure out who did it.

Anyway, the Shredder has definitely elevated his game, and that can only bode well for those of us who enjoy his work.

Long may he shred.

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