Shredder note: From a close friend. He wrote this for my old blog and was enjoyed by many. Figured a new audience might enjoy reading it.
Ryan was suppose to do this once a month but it never happened. His blogging skills peaked after one post. God bless you Ryan.... Oh and I am sure Ryan would like me to mention that he is looking for ND tickets...hehe.
Welcome to Ryan Millard's first hate of the month. Mark May I don't even know you and I hate ya guts! What can be said bad about a guy such as Mark May. He was quite the football player in his day. Played @ Pitt and for the Washington Redskins. He is also in the College Football Hall of Fame.
Did you know that in his Junior and Senior seasons @ Pitt he didn't give up 1 sack. Also, he was a 1st round draft pick and a 1 time Pro Bowler. But it's not his skills on the field that have me ready to bitch slap those Lens Crafters gay looking glasses off his face. It's his constant shitty analysis of college football and how certain teams or going to match up for the games ahead. Does this guy even have a fucking clue? I mean he is a former O-lineman and we know how smart they are. It's like he does no research and espn tells him "ah just wing it, go with your gut." I don't think he's ever picked a winner of a game even at halftime. Not to mention he sucks on Dave Wannstedt's wang and is always picking his Pitt Panthers. Yeah Dave Wannstedt's a good coach. Maybe for a class C high school in Idaho. The guy has never won anywhere. How do you keep getting jobs without producing a winning record. Man I gotta get a hold of his agent. Oh thats right you are friends with Jimmy Johnson, that explains it. So if you know a guy who wins a Super Bowl you just get hired anywhere.
Must be nice. And how come Dave never smiles, for God's sake he looks like he listens to Emo or something. But anyways back on Mark Gay oops! I mean May. I just love how he hates the Big Ten and says they are a sub par conference. Yeah Mark cause the Big east is really on a tare aren't they? Shit Pitt almost lost to Iowa 21-20. Iowa is one of the worst teams in the Big Ten. Not to mention they lost to Bowling Green HA! LOL! Good lord Pitt's toughest opponents this year are University of Southern Florida and West Virginia. We've already seen WVU collapse twice. So don't give that strength of schedule crap. And one more thing Mark. Leave Lou Holtz alone! He's an old man for crying out loud, he could die any minute. I'm not a big fan of Lou either but every time to old coot says something May rolls his eyes or knocks him down. Act with some class you fat imitation of Will Smith.
I hope one of these days Lou takes his oxygen off, gets out of his wheelchair and bitch slaps you so hard his 105 year old hand falls off. Well maybe Lou slurs so much in his face that every night Mark gets a Lou Hotlz shower of saliva. It's probably mostly made up of Ensure and Fibercon. Way to go Lou! Well I've said what I needed to, man I feel better don't you? This has been a hate-a-tori-um of fun can't wait till next time. Until then Mark May gargles my man chowder and I hate ya guts!