Ah, Michigan State. One of a very few reasons I am glad to be from New York; none of the douchebags from my high school graduated and became douchebags from Michigan State. Let’s be real here, everyone who went to high school in the state of Michigan has at least one classmate who couldn’t be saved from their sad Sparty fate. And everyone who has a “friend from State” likes to pretend that their friend “isn’t like the rest of those douchebags.” Well, tough shit kid, your high school BFF just turned into an UNACCEPTABLE turd sandwich, and you did nothing to stop them.

But wait, you say. CMR, you are from New York, how can you hate MSU and their fans so much? Elementary, my dear MMers, let me count the ways:

1. FYS. If you are not a hockey fan, you may not be aware of this one. I saw this firsthand at Yost as a freshman, and it is seriously one of those scenes that will haunt you for the rest of your life. Shit like this is not supposed to happen in college hockey, nor hockey at any level, yet it happened at Yost, and I hope to never witness an event so egregious that every usher in the stands turns a deaf ear to the student section: 
   FYS.
2. “Our parties are better and our chicks are hawter!” Oh yea Sparty? Since your parties are so sweet, (paying for fratty ice is sick, brah!) stop crashing ours and stop trying to get me to dance with you, I can sense your inferiority complex from across the room. I also sense that I should try using smaller words too: You are rather ugly and not even clever, nice, funny, or (sure, I’ll go there) rich enough to make up for it… explain again why you deserve hawt chicks?
3. “LOLMart Wolverines!!” Well that’s up there with Nicky Minaj calling Lil Kim trashy. Try again.
4. “Look at how old that picture is. They had to go that far back since a wide out from U of M has caught a ball.”* What is this I don’t even? Many facepalms to you, you poor uneducated soul.
5. “You're right. It's not a rivalry. The Spartans have won the last two games.”* I’ll say the same thing I told the troll on DB’s porst: there’s a reason no one else brags about beating two of the worst Michigan football teams in the past 130+ seasons. Congrats guys, you accomplished the football equivalent of kicking a puppy and bragged about it. If you had taken a better look, you might’ve realized it was a wolf hybrid puppy. Those mature around age three. Your bad, brah. And by the way, if winning the last 2 ends the rivalry... was there ever one to begin with?
6. Oh and on that note State fans… you don’t get to call anyone “Little Brother,” let alone Mike Hart’s team. Stop trying.
7. “Wow, it certainly was nice of my friend here at UM to get me and my brahs these tickets… TIME TO REPAY THEIR KINDNESS BY MAKING A COMPLETE ASS OF MYSELF!** I will pick a fight with the diabetic girl standing in her seat in front of me!”***
8. And of course… history. My grandparents’ true disregard for Michigan State football (they’d rather drive out for a homecoming against Eastern than the MSU game, since EMU and MSU have about the same standing to them). Spartan Bob and Clockgate. Mike Hart vs Coach Dantonio. The Catch. The Interception. The chronically cheating first boyfriend of my little sister’s who I never got to beat the self-righteous snot out of and who also just so happens to root for the Patriots and MSU. The crowd of student-section-invading assclowns who tried to get me and my roommate (our average height: 5’2”) to fight them. Losing in overtime. We know any memories beyond the past two years are a scary place for you, but at least try to appreciate everything that has led to this Saturday.

Oh, and don’t let this get to your head now, Sparty, I still hate Penn State, ND, and OSU so much more than you :]

*Direct quote from a Spartan fan on a Facebook event with the “He Didn’t Know Charles Woodson Could Jump 15 Feet in The Air” picture

** Direct quote from the brain of almost every Sparty jackass in Ann Arbor for the game... not really but still.

***…yea, really.

Hi, everyone. I'm happy to be part of Midnight Maize. As mentioned by Shredder, I am a frequent commenter on mgoblog. I also like to post in mlive and A2.com, where my specialties as of late are yanking Sparty's chain and counteracting trolling in UM stories. I feel that if Sparty gets to pollute UM stories, then someone needs to reciprocate on Sparty stories.

If you are looking for a lot of stats and research, you will probably won't find a lot in my entries, other than UM won-loss records against teams like OSU and MSU. If you are looking for opinions and patterns from someone who has followed University of Michigan sports since before Bo was hired, though, you are reading the right person. Also, as mentioned by Shredder, I definitely resonate with the sense of humor here.

Anyway, Shredder asked me to share my thoughts on signing day. I was extremely happy about the class and the last-minute signing of Demar Dorsey, but what would happen shortly thereafter would overshadow the entire day: the ignorant rantings and one-sided "reporting" of so-called "writer" Drew Sharp. Or, as I prefer to call him, Drew Dull. So, I will address Drew Dull's hatchet job on a kid who is still in high school first.

Since I have boycotted the freep since the Rosenpuke and Shyster hatchet job first appeared there, I didn't read all of Dull's article. I did, however, read plenty of quotes and paraphrases, and some rather obvious patterns emerged.

1. Drew Dull cares nothing about the feelings of a seventeen year-old on what should be the biggest day of his life so far. This kid is still in High School, has fulfilled his obligations to the legal system, and Dull is writing that he is a criminal who shouldn't be allowed to attend the University of Michigan in one of the main "newspapers" in the local market.

2. Drew Dull has once again prostituted any shred left of his integrity to continue the freep's attack on the University of Michigan football program.

3. Drew Dull is such a terrible writer that he finds it neccessary to write inflammatory crap. His line of reasoning is that people won't notice his lack of command of the English language, his utter lack of creativity, or his over-reliance on cliches if they are busy being pissed at him.

4. Drew Dull has decided that his anti-UM agenda takes precedence over the legal system of the United States of America, finding Dorsey guilty in his court of scrambled synapses.

Today, the freep went as far as to research Dorsey's past, uncovering that he had "confessed" to two robberies but apparently went through a diversion program. This begs a couple of questions:

1. Why is the freep wasting all of this time attacking a kid who is still in high school and has no conviction on his record?

2. Why didn't they spend even half of this effort when fourteen players from Misdemeanor State's football team participated in a premeditated gang raid on innocent students in their home and in which some of the students beaten were women?

Drew Dull and his cohorts at the freep are guilty of much more than Dorsey. They have consistently ignored facts, pursued a malicious agenda against RR and UM, and are now engaging in character assassination of a high school student for the "crime" of choosing to spend his next four years at the University of Michigan.

If anyone wants to do anything besides the boycotting of the freep that many of us have done since August, I recommend looking up "Drew Sharp" at Amazon and "reviewing" his book. Since it is already a one and a quarter star, we won't bring the average down much, but it is a great place to vent and let Dull know your displeasure. And it is a lot of fun to read through the comments for people who are obviously mgoblog people.

Drew Dull might not read the emails sent to him by his readers, but we may get his attention when pointing out how much of a hack he is. Besides, Dull saved his greatest insult for fans like us when he referred to us as "running to their little blogs" instead of getting "accurate information" from fine, upstanding, "objective" writers such as himself.

The only nice thing I can say about Drew Dull is that I'm sure he will look quite "sharp" when his inevitable firing has him standing in the unemployment line.